As parents, what do we lose when we keep the subject of finances taboo? This is one Black American male’s perspective of the lessons learned and not learned about money that reinforced Broke Mentality.

The children lose when we keep the subject of finances taboo.

Michael Wright

Grown Folks Business
What I Learned at Home

As a kid, you didn’t talk about money with your parents. You didn’t ask about bills. You didn’t know how much your parents made. That was all Grown Folks’ Business. If you asked for something, the answer was yes, no or we’ll see — each had their unique variations. For the benefit of the doubt, I understand our parents couldn’t teach us about stocks and bonds if they had never opened an investment account. But what about the basics, the day-to-day financial responsibilities like bills, loans, credit cards, BMG CD clubs, etc? That was fundamental knowledge that would have seriously helped us.

Dad used to say, “Save your money, son.” I used to wonder ‘Save money until when? Save for what?’ I remember feeling like it was wrong somehow to spend money immediately after you made it: like it was a sin or something.

When I was 16, I worked for $4.35/hour at Hardee’s (this is a 1997 minimum wage in Gardendale, AL). I saved for 8 months. Dad took me to Let it Ride Auto Sales off Hwy 31 in Fultondale, AL. That’s where I traded $901.56 for a shiny blue Oldsmobile. It ran for 3 weeks — overheated from an oil leak and the motor locked up. Whether that particular lesson was a good or bad one is, of course, a matter of opinion. It was effective! I learned two things: buy a car with a warranty and learn how cars work.

That was a pretty hard pill to swallow. The part that always bothered me was that later Dad and I had a couple conversations about the car but none of them were about not buying As-Is, having an engine inspected, or what kind of protection a buyer has when getting a lemon. The conversations fell flat landing on my not watching enough oil changes. I felt kind of betrayed. A seed was planted in my mind that we, the children, could be inadvertently being setup for failure.

Balance Checkbooks, Sell M&Ms for Shoe Money
What I Learned in School

I recall, very vaguely, an assignment where we got two sheets of paper: one was a printout of fake checks and the other looked like the back of a checkbook. The memory is so foggy I don’t even remember what class or even what school we had the assignment. I can’t think of other lessons on finances except for being charged to have your yearbook picture printed in color. There were more assignments on managing money though, I’m sure. I’m kinda sure. It felt like the subject of finances was low-priority in school.

There were no presentations, cheesy VHS videos or text book chapters on bank account types, income tax, credit cards, interest rates and loan types? Where was that stuff? Hadn’t grade school always been there to prepare us for adulthood? Something as significant in the world as currency deserved more than being glossed over. What we learned by not being taught these essential things was how to be diligent, loyal consumers. We learned just enough to stay broke.

Track was a sport that didn’t fall under the Needs category in my house. My dad bought me a pair of shoes one time in my track career: 8th grade, Cortez Nikes. They were black and grey boat anchors (I loved them so much, man. Y’all don’t even know). I ran track from 8th grade until 11th. Do the math and you figure out a growing teenage boy probably needed more than a single pair of running shoes to span a 4 year period. My second pair of running shoes came from Tiny, my older cousin. They gave me life, and I coveted them — my first pair of spikes. I ran the soles off doing both Cross Country and Outdoor Track.

Enter Coach Villani, one of the Fantastic 5 Most Influential Teachers in my life story.

Coach Villani was a track coach and science teacher with a snack fund. One day I showed up to Cross Country practice, and Coach handed me an Asics’ shoe box. Inside was a fresh pair of white Harriers with the rubber spikes. I geeked. I don’t remember what was said, but I understood that they were mine — FOR REAL mine. Free track shoes?! Wha-T?!

Not exactly. Coach told me I would sell candy to pay off the shoes. It was a good deal. I walked around school every day with a box of individually packed M&Ms. Peanut ones, plain ones, I had you! This was M&Ms in the 90s too, so they still had the light brown ones that no one seems to remember. Every day I brought back the box with only dollars and coins inside — sold the s**t out of those M&Ms.

This would be my first lesson in investing. As an adult looking back now, I see some clear risks with letting a kid handle a piece of a successful business. It turned out to be a positive return. What I learned from Coach Villani is that you use money to make money.

I Stopped Reading Robert Kiyosaki’s Book

One of my favorite financial blogs recommended a book called Rich Dad Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not by Robert Kiyosaki. In the book, Kiyosaki tells the story of his growing up and learning about money from two very different views points – from his scholarly, play-it-safe, father and his best friend’s father, a small business owner. I found a used copy on Amazon and dove in.

The book wasn’t fancy with complex concepts. It had foundational knowledge of building wealth with some entertaining stories of Kiyosaki’s youth. I made it to the Assets and Liabilities section (Assets and liabilities are discussed in Chapter 2 of 9). I put down the book a quarter of the way through, because I was shocked.

I was on fire — pissed off, disappointed and inspired all at the same time. How could I have not understood something so simple until after I was already married with children? It was so basic. This concept could easily be summarized in 4 words “Own things with value.”

I started writing this post, because something was wrong about this whole situation. Something was broken in how we — who came up in relatively decent, middle-class home situations — understood how money worked. I needed to say something about ending Broke Mentality by bringing these kinds of conversations to dinner tables. I needed to ask a question and demand an answer: ‘What do we have to lose by teaching children about money?’

My people are in danger of repeating a cycle of standing under the thumb of a society very literally designed to keep them from being part-owners in a land that is their home too (this country). Black leaders have said these things for decades, but I don’t see the message penetrating as deeply throughout the Black American culture as it needs to. In these times, ignorance seems to yell louder than wisdom. But the message needs to wave like a flag, so we keep it in front of us.

Financial education for our kids needs to be as normal as breakfast.

We are setting them up for failure if we don’t teach them.

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